Thursday, March 11, 2010

Birthing a Big Baby-- the Final Push

Congress has been in labor for more than a year over healthcare reform.

Sweaty, red-faced, exhausted, strong-willed but nervous, the Democratic Mother is pushing hard and looking forward to the birth of her big reform Baby. She can't predict the future of her offspring. Will this reform Baby be the light of their lives, bringing the Parents and millions of Family members health, joy, and happiness, or will the Parents look back in regret for ever conceiving this Baby?

Nervous Nellies in the Delivery Room, Republican relatives predict a dire future if this Baby lives. Abort this Baby, and let's try again, they urge. Convinced the baby will have a 666 on it's forehead, they favor killing it. To most of the Family, it is obvious that these naysayers are more worried about their inheritance and their own future than the future of the Baby and the Family as a whole. They spin lies about the Baby's Father and the reform Baby itself and worry distant relatives.

"No one likes this Baby. It's too big!"

"No one wants this Baby."

"No one likes this Baby's Father."

While the Mother's relatives have different opinions.

"The Father is well-liked and trusted."

"We want that Baby to be born already. This Baby will help the Family."

Only 4% of the Family favors aborting this Baby.

Most of the Family just wants everyone to work together-- as a Family.

In the meantime, while Family members argue and the Mother pushes, the Father is visiting with relatives around the country saying, "Hey, I know this may not be the prettiest, most well-like Baby in the world, but it's time. At home in Washington, we shouldn't be worrying about our survival. We should do what's best for the Family."

The Father knows there are backward wilderness clans in the Family-- like the one in Phoenix-- that would allow Family members to die, rather than pay for their care, so he keeps fighting for the reform Baby.

As the contractions get harder, the Mother is only marginally reassured when the Father whispers, "It will be OK, Honey. No one ever said parenthood would be easy. Think of the good of the Family." Although she's nervous about what motherhood will bring, she realizes she's gone too far to stop now. The Baby's head is in view. The birth is eminent.

This article originally appeared in my Progressive Examiner column.

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